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8:43 PM Ellie 0 Comments Category :

Recent developments, encounters, events, statements, incident around me really give a toll on me. I felt lethargic and brittle. My head spun. At time tears drop unconsciously. The heart devastated and sank. Mind aint stop thinking. Most of the times, I lost myself in the crowd. I translated and observed closely every encounter. I read the emotion lies between the lines. Made reflection. Tried to make sense out of it.

I counted every possibility. I wrote every fortune endowed to others. I jot down my misfortune. I enjoyed the others smooth ride. I experienced my own bumpy, craggy ride. I ran in others’ tunnel with chandeliers on. I crawled in my own tunnel with flickers of light and hope.

I braced myself to continue crawling. The knees were swollen. Tried to stand up with whatever left in me. It was damn hard. Keep holding on...but I fell down many times. Hurt my ankle. Half way I felt tired. Hell, the tunnel is long. Many times my body tried to stop. Exhaled every breath. I lost hope. I scared. No more tears. Dry. Only blood and sweat.

I am crawling with whatever left.....
I am praying to be in your tunnel..........

Hazami - Kiblat ku

Sejauh mana pun ku lari
menggapai hasrat yang terpendam
biar berkali rebah ku bangun
walau payah

ku himpun kudrat dan harapan
mengiringi azam yang usang
sinar seakan pudar

bila terbit sang suria
begitulah semangat tegar
meskipun musimkan silih berganti
ku terus melangkah
daku gagahi
mencari arah
oh Tuhan sinarilah kiblatku

keringat diteman embunan
kicau unggas turut berdoa
purnama bagai tenangkan perang didalam hati
ku himpun kudrat dan harapan
mengiringi azam yang usang
sinar seakan pudar

kala sujudku pada kesyukuran
dalam mimpi ada sedih
menghantui andai ku alpa
langit kejayaanku
berkiblat padaMU hanya satu